Women 101: Part 1

Okay since this is probably the most controversial thing i will ever talk about ever on my blogs i'd just like every woman that i've known that this has nothing to do with them personally, this is just how i've seen things happen and how girls usually tend to be.

Whoever said that you cant live with them and can't live without them is absolutely true, allow me to elaborate.

See women are just the most confusing people in the whole world, I think every guy agrees with me when I say that because you know what at times ive wished that I could actually be mel gibson in 'what women want' that would be so cool, cause we would know what to do everytime, things would be so much easier.

Im not generalizing girls here only because there are different types of girls I mean there's the possessive/relationship-crazy ones, the ambitious/feminist girls, the ditzy/barbie girls, the bitchy/weird , and last but not least the stalkers not too many of em but they tend to lurk around campus, nocturnal creatures haha no im just kidding they maintain hygiene and dress appropriately.... well sometimes anyways haha

now the problem with women is that when they meet you they are all like hey whats up and being typical guys usually we're all like hey whats up and how u doin? why because guys never admit this (sorry im letting out our secret) but it doesnt matter if the girl is average looking or really hot, the guy will always try to impress her and be able to say hey ive got this girl liking me and thats another one under my belt (not literally) haha

see the initial interaction is pretty good because its all just jokes and friendship and nothing more but when you start talking to them on a daily basis, thats where all the problem starts and you really start to see the real girl and put em into one of those categories not that they have to be confined in those categories but they can also be a combination of many categories... dangerous hybrids.

See what i mean by that is that girls LOVE and dont deny it LOVE to confuse guys and control em with thier power these little games that are played all the time with guys, sometimes end up being really mean and at times can turn out to be harmless fun only because the guy is a player but if its someone innocent then thats where the problem starts...

lets examine a conversation

here's a lil key because this conversation is a little complicated:

# = their thoughts
* = any actions

So we have little innocent Asad Haider (haha i can see everyone going YEAH RIGHT! over here but ill pretend anyways)

=DAY 1=

Girl: HEY HUN! # yes! asad is here he's so smart and he can help me out with my essay#
Asad: hey whats up
Girl: *hug*
Asad: *hugs back* #wow she smells great and she never hugs me, something is definately up#
Girl: how are you we havent talked in forever!
Asad: Yeah i know! its been ages...
Girl: man im soo stuck on my essay i dont know what to do, i wish someone could help me

-HOLD IT RIGHT THERE- see to me right now, now being as wise as i am i realize that im just being used here, see what i mean, girls can exercise their power by being a little friendly... this blog is a life-saver for all you really smart kids out there who are being used by girls, so lets assume Asad is stupid and goes along with it

Asad: # thank God I spent the last 2 months being anti social and learning how to write better!
yes! its finally paid off!#
Asad: Hmm i can take a look at it, ill try to help you out with it
Girl: Awww you're soo sweet! thankyou so much! you're a lifesaver Asad! *smiles at him*
Asad: *does her whole essay practically*
Girl: wow Asad you're sooo awesome!!
Asad: No problem
Girl: #Yes!!! my essay is done and now i can go out clubbing and get that hot guy's attention!#
Asad: #Wow! she really appreciates me, I think we can be really good friends, and then we'll
start going out # *starts comparing compatibilities*

and then the day ends and Asad goes home happy thinking bout how he now has some sort of attraction established with the opposite sex and the Girl well she goes out clubbing and takes a morning after pill just incase haha okay (not ALL girls are like that... just trying to cover my ass here)

= DAY 2 =

Asad: # There she is, okay just go over there now and try not to get too nervous, okay I have
some gum in my mouth, breath is good, hair is good, clothes smell nice, k now i can walk
towards her #
Asad: HEY! whaaats up?
Girl: hey, whats up
Asad: you must be relaxed now that your essay is done
Girl: Yeh
Asad: #shit! she's not soo friendly anymore whats going on?#
Girl: *quiet*
Asad: okay well i guess im gonna go now
Girl: k see ya

That my friend is a combination of bitchy/weird. not that girls realize it but it is.

Now isnt that a terrible thing? poor Asad has his heart broken, and not that girls usually realize it but she actually led him on, being super friendly being so nice and then suddenly she's bitchy, Girls just work like that, its that power that they have, the power to make guys do anything and confuse the hell out of them, now if they were more straight forward about things instead of being so sketchy things would be so much easier dont you agree? The problem is that girls, I, personally think dont know themselves well enough, or are too confused thmeselves to make any decisions about wheter or not they want to get into a relationship or not, I mean a girl knows when she's flauting herself and a guy is interested, you can usually tell when he's hanging around you a whole lot or talks to you a lot or does things for you (no that does not mean anything when it comes to me hahaha im just like that...)

Now im not trying to build a fort and put up a sign saying girls have cooties and that all girls should die, hell no, im sorry im not gay, living in a world like that with horny men, yeah no not a good combination...

Asad: GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!! stay away
Jack: YEAH GIRLS SUCK!
Asad: YEAH LISTEN TO JACK!
Asad: JACK! stop touching my ass!
Jack: I cant help it man i've gotta do something, girls have cooties and I have NEEDS!
Asad: Dude stay away before i kill you
Jack:You know you like it...

Asad giving a speech later on, "Jack was a good man, he died a good death...."

So see thats just a bad idea either all straight men would die because gay men overpower the world one bum at a time, hahaha or they'd just shoot us, i prefer the latter (oooh i came too close to the line didnt I with that sentence? haha) for those of you who dont know what latter means it means the second one as in id rather get shot! haha dont be thinking things now) I mean that would be a nightmare i mean there's no zombies and scary looking things there's barbies with beards and skirts running around trying to chase you and eat you, what a horrible horrible world that would be, I mean competitive sport would be gone pretty much, no hockey, football, cricket or basketball, and sex and the city would be the world's most watched show *shudder*

So plain and simple we need girls. Now im not saying that we need girls just to fulfill urges or anythign like that i mean dating is a wonderful thing I think, only if you find someone who's a little compatible with you and works along with you. I mean its such a beautiful thing but girls will play games with guy's heads and try to lead them on and ruin their lives, which produces more gay people, so please girls dont confuse men, let them know how you feel, and witness a good moment yourself and if you dont like em or want to lead them on, make sure you dont give out signs showing that you're interested or anything like that...cause that just creates a big mess.

Now the dating games thats a whole different story....
which shall be discussed in part 2

to be continued.

Disclaimer

Hey

Okay ive had enough people bugging me now so i decided to work on a project, its a 3 part series on Women and what i think of them and how I think guys should deal with them.

Now i know some people have a feminist keera, or that innate feminist entrenched in their soul, so Im just re-reading everything to make sure that its not too bad or anythign like that because im risking being scratched to death or something horrific like that...

They'll be posted one at a time because i dont want to die so soon...